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The best hero is a broken hero.


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FMA: implied Roy/Ed "A Touch of a Cold"
royed
tir_synni
Title: A Touch of a Cold
Pairing: implied Roy/Ed
A/N: Totally blaming this one on kageotogi. XD
Warning:  Adult implications, no spoilers
Rating: PG-13
Summary:  Hawkeye had a bad feeling about this.

A Touch of a Cold

When the legendary Fullmetal Alchemist strode into the building that morning, it took everyone a little while longer than usual to notice.  Watching from her perch by Colonel Mustang's door, Lieutenant Hawkeye noted the young man's calm stride, hands in his pockets, gold eyes staring forward.  Usually it was Fullmetal's aggravated stomping that caught everyone's attention.  The alchemist's boots were rather heavy, to the point that Hawkeye occasionally wondered if he had transmuted those, too.  Of course, when the boots failed to catch everyone's attention, the blond's impressive lungs adequately did the job.

Now Fullmetal was quiet, stunningly quiet since he was walking straight for Colonel Mustang's office.  Hawkeye discretely checked the round in her gun.  She had the sinking feeling that she might need it.

When Fullmetal went to walk past her, she stood in his way.  "He's doing paperwork, Edward," she explained, disturbed by his too-calm eyes.  "If there's any message, I can pass it to him later."

To her surprise, Fullmetal only shook his head once and gestured at the door.  She frowned at him.  He then gestured at the door, mimicked coughing, and then pantomimed writing.  Her eyes widened.

"You have a cold?" Hawkeye guessed.  Fullmetal made a vague gesture with his hand but didn't out-right deny it, so she figured it was close enough to the mark.  "And you want to write him a message?"  Another vague gesture.  The vagueness was making the uneasy feeling in Hawkeye grow, but she couldn't see anything harmful in this so far.  "If you write the message, Edward, I can make sure he gets it later."

Fullmetal shook his head again and held up two fingers.  "Only two minutes?" Hawkeye offered.  Yet another vague gesture answered.  An odd chill was going up Hawkeye's spine but she ignored it.  "All right.  Just keep it quick."

As she stepped to one side, Fullmetal gifted her with an enigmatic smile.  Then he vanished inside the door.

Just in case, Hawkeye kept one hand on her gun and her focus on the now closed door.  She thought she heard an abrupt sound but when she heard nothing else beyond that, she decided it must be her imagination.  Exactly two minutes after Fullmetal walked in, Fullmetal walked back out, one hand in his coat pocket, the other massaging his throat.

The chilll abruptly returned full force, but Hawkeye did not let it show on her face.  "Go to the clinic, Edward," she advised.  "They'll probably have something for your throat there."

Fullmetal paused, and Hawkeye blinked when he suddenly grinned at her.  He nodded once and then hurried down the hallway.  Hawkeye waited until he was out of sight before pushing the door open.

She tried to tell herself she wasn't expecting the sight of Colonel Mustang on the floor, clutching between his legs and whimpering.  Failing that, Hawkeye walked past him and picked up the note on the floor.  She read it aloud, keeping her voice crisp and clear so as to be heard of Mustang's soft sobs.

"Equivalent exchange, you son of a bitch."


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You know, I've left FMA for the most part. This tempts me back in. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!

Hee. Roy/Ed this is what it was like before the fandom went to hell. *fond memories* You rock my socks.

When my fandom goes to hell, I look the other way and hum. XDDD

tempttempttemptempttempttempt

You know you want to return. <3 There needs to be more good writers here.

....omg, this was wonderful.

....*can't think of a good reply right now, so will simply sit and bask in the glory that is this fic*

That works. *^.^* Thanks!

*snickers* This was great. The last line had me laughing out loud. I have to say, though, my "amused" reaction was warring very strongly with my "ED WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU NEED THOSE" reaction. *pats Roy sympathetically.* Thank you, that was a very fun read.

Eh, Roy's probably used to it. XDD If not, he will be soon.

^^ Thanks for reviewing!

(Deleted comment)
So far I have a 'poor Roy,' 'poor Ed,' and implications of a nosebleed. *^____^*

Thanks!

Poor Hawkeye. She's never going to get the Colonel to finish his paperwork now. *simper*

*grin* Too many blow jobs, too many blow jobs~! You're so good to me. ^_^

I can imagine her weighing the pros and cons of this. XDDD And possibly hunting down Fullmetal.

Thanks for the idea. I needed something cheerful.

Oh...so basically, Ed gave Roy a blow job and now his throat hurts...so he hurts Roy...right?
Great fic :)!

Yeah. Pretty much. *sunny smile*

Thanks!

. . . ouch.

Still made me laugh, though, because I'm a bitch ;) Hee! Thanks for posting, hon =)

I wrote it, so what does that make me? *^____^*

Thanks for R&R'ing! XD

That was cool! You know, I had a cold a couple of weeks ago - the same thing, couldn't speak or creak or even moan for a glass of warm tea. That was genuinely funny and irritating at the same time, how everyone kept misinterpreting my pantomime.
Thank you for a nice fic, I enjoyed reading it.

If it was anyone else besides Hawkeye misinterpreting Edward, they probably would have been eating his fist. ^^

Thank you.

*big toothy grin* Read other comments. And here I thought that Roy had made Ed lose his voice for all the screaming he'd done the night before. *snickers*

Nah. Though I can't help but wonder what Ed's idea of equivalent exchange would have been then. XD

Ah this is great. Ed's revenge is too funny.

Oh, this is too funny. Ed restrains himself in the beginning so he can put all of his energy into nailing Mustang.

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