tir-synni's random babblings

The best hero is a broken hero.

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So I have the Robot Unicorn theme on repeat?
What's your point?

As I crosspost this to LJ, fuck you, LJ. It's hard to tell when I have real comments and when I am just getting spammed. :P

So I was diagnosed with ADHD a couple months back. This surprised no one. In a past life I was a brain damaged goldfish who probably starved because someone left a shiny light blinking and I was too distracted to blink. The doc who did the diagnosing was no help. She said it sounded like I had it under control. I HATE going to ANY doctor. If I am going, I have a legitimate concern. Answers like that just piss me off. Long story short, I stopped going to that doc and didn't go anywhere for a while.

Between that and various other issues which were messing with me, I decided to give medication a shot. I am NOT a fan of medication, but as I've been having these issues for a decade or more, I figured there was no harm. Might as well give it a try.

So I make the appointment and visit the doc. I ended up taking a beautiful, if accidental, scenic route. See above about the brain damaged goldfish. However, it was a lovely day and I found an awesome tunnel not too far from my home. The admin assistant, rather than being pissed, thought the whole thing was more hilarious than anything. Still, as I was already running late, the doc just told me I could finish filling out the paperwork after the visit.

I was possibly in there for about five to ten minutes. She asked if I had a family history. I told her my uncle was diagnosed with ADHD. She asked about the rest of the family. 99% of my family does not go to any psych doc, and there aren't many in that area, anyway. I had a cousin who almost had a nervous breakdown, but I swear to this day that was primarily due to our relatives. Still, just describing some family traits seemed to be enough for the doc. Overall, she was rather to the point and stated once that her specialty was not in talking but in prescribing medication. In just meeting with her for less than ten minutes, I had a prescription for Adderall/Amphetamines.

That disturbed me on several levels. One, I could get a prescription that quickly and that easily...even if I still wonder if it was partly that easy just because I had already shown my ditziness to an amazing degree. ...it was a really pretty route, though. The other thing that bothered me is that no one talked to me about the meds. I told the doc and the pharmacist that I had no history at all with psych meds. One just gave me the prescription and told me to try it out for thirty days and the other just gave me the bottle. Obtaining drugs is far too easy, and there was very little information provided on a foreign chemical that is going into my body.

Still, she started me off with a low dose, which I liked. A friend threw a fit and stated it was too low and that I should have been given a higher dose. I pointed out that I would like to see how I did before receiving a larger dose. She didn't see my point.

On my final ADHD note, I still plan on taking the glowy bouncy ball Hadesphoenix was so nice as to give me and throw it at my next family reunion. It's a good plan. :D

Now back to caffeine and ficcage.

This entry was originally posted at http://tir-synni.dreamwidth.org/31686.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

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First of all, I'm thinking your little scenic route did have something to do with it. Second, we're glad you enjoyed our bouncy ball gift! <3 We couldn't not get it when we saw it. ... which actually kinda supports the first statement, but whatever.

Part of my errand list for that day was to get quarters while I was picking up the prescription. I remember to get the cash for the exchange and then never picked up the quarters.

Yeah, Sam? I hate to break it to you. But it's obvious pretty much within meeting you that you've got attention span problems. I say that with as much love as can be done. But it's true.

lol. It was the scenic route that did it. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was in first grade, but my parents knew that something was up in kindergarten. I'd go to the bathroom, and they'd find me playing on the playground after I just never came back to class. But really, with adults, we have learned to manage it, or make work-arounds. We've had to. And to be quite frank, she started you on just the right dose. With no history of pysch meds, that's the best way to go. And I am sure you received paperwork on the meds, because you may not remember what they do.
I am like you with the shiny. And I tend to have the attention span of a gnat on speed. So, yeah. :D Welcome to the club. We were going to have cookies, but we got distracted.

I was never diagnosed as anything but blind when I was a kid, and that was because I couldn't tell them our bowling scores. My entirely family is ditzy. It's a character trait everyone took for granted without wondering why.

When we finally do get cookies, it'll either be the wrong type or every type in sight. :D

As weird as it sounds...meds do help. I have been taking Zoloft for a while now and IT IS A GODSEND!!! And what your friend said, ignore it. I had a doc that believed in that and was giving me big amounts of Zoloft when I first started and she turned me into a zombie. I went back and told her to FIX IT!! she put me on the "Grandma dosage" and it was a miracle. I could actually function. And I agree, shiny things and pretty routes are always fun, even more so when the pretty routes have shiny things...(my doc thinks I might be ADD, but I keep avoiding the issue with her)

I'll have a better idea soon how they're working. This week everything is so insane and out of the ordinary it's impossible to tell what's going on and how it's working...though replying to this is a good reminder to take a pill...

On the meds:

I have taken Adderall for several years, and I can tell you that it can be a really, really nice thing. That even includes a low dosage! My current psychiatrist says that Adderall (and the next-gen version that I'm currently taking, Vyvanse) is the sort of medication where you want to slowly build up with it, especially considering the type of medication that it is. But even just in small amounts, it can provide the minor boost that the brain needs in order to balance out again. It really is amazing how just a small amount of medication can make the world a better place. So make sure to take it every day so that your body gets used to it (I was pretty jittery for the first few days when I started the meds), and after a couple of weeks take another look at the way you're reacting. Actually, you might also ask those around you if they've noticed a difference in your behavior, because I know that I sometimes have trouble noticing things about my ADD/ADHD unless someone else points them out to me.

*deep breath after the rambling*

On the psychiatrist:

If you're not comfortable with your doctor, take a look around and see about finding another. I spent years going to a psychiatrist who would have almost the exact same conversation with me every single visit. ("How are you doing? Do you want more meds? Here's your prescription, see you next month.") He was nice enough, just...impartial. And then I finally changed to a new psychiatrist, and she is cheerful and sweet and personally interested in my life, and she remembers things about me. She explains my meds, she explains my reactions, and she listens. A psychiatrist is not a psychologist (a psychiatrist prescribes the meds, a psychologist does the talk therapy), but that doesn't mean that they can't have a good relationship with you!

You might look around at reviews of psychiatrists to find a good one. Like I said, having a good relationship can make visiting a psychiatrist a lot more relaxing and easy to deal with.

If the concept of medication bothers you, I'm wondering if you've thought about maybe taking a look into talk therapy or other methods of dealing with your ADHD? Medication can provide a simpler type of support, if only because it allows you to deal with things on your own, but being able to talk it out can supposedly help as well. I've done some of it, and really, I need to get back to it.

...but yes. Speaking of meds, mine have more than worn off today, and I am so babbling right now. Many apologies.

I honestly can't tell how the meds are working. This week is just insane in a way which will be explained in my next flailing post.

I tried talk therapy. I wasn't impressed. Also, they can provide me with as much verbal assistance as they can. It meant nothing when something threw off my pattern later or there were too many distractions. Plus, the woman I talked to? She couldn't even keep me focused for an hour. Not impressed.

For now, I'll see how the drugs work...and be a bed for my uncle's dog. She is being nice and keeping the back of my neck warm, and I'm providing her with a place to chill. :)

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